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Friday, August 22, 2014

Mirth Monday: You might be a redneck if...

Yer mom calls ya over t'help 'cause she has a flat tire...on her house.
Your house gets more than eight mpg.
Your cousin bought the best house in town and you have to go over to 
 help him take its wheels off.
You own a home that is mobile and five cars that aren't.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
You've ever hit a bump on the road and lost half of your worldly 
Home repairs include rotating the tires on your trailer.
You consider new hub-caps to be a home improvement.
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
You got your tater gun hangin' over your couch in your living room as
 a conversation piece.
You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
You don't know anyone who has less than ten guns.
Your bicycle has a gun rack.
You've figured out a way to put a gun rack on a bicycle.
You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk.

You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
You just bought an eight-track player to put in your car.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take 
 a bath."
You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.
You refer to the time that you won a free case of motor oil as "the day
 my ship came in."
You've ever fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a
 piece of equipment.
The tail light covers of your car are made of red tape.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening 
 on the lube rack.

Check out last weeks "Mirth Monday" Here:

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